Isn’t Love Supposed to Be “Enough” To Save a Relationship? Not Hardly!

The relationship between a man and a woman can be hard to navigate on a good day.

When trying to save a relationship, there is a myth that is so widely perpetrated by the media it’s hard for women like you to uncover the real truth.

As a result you find you are often floundering around in murky relationship waters, struggling to stay afloat and feeling at a loss as to why the heck your man (who loves you to pieces mind you) doesn’t want to get married and doesn’t want to settle down. And he certainly doesn’t want to have 2.5 kids either.

If you love each other so darn much it should be easy, right?

Well no, not exactly. And there’s the big myth!

It’s like the old Patty Smyth song says…

Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough

Relationships certainly arn’t always easy… and especially so if you’re dating an oppositepersonality from you.

Loving someone whole-heartedly is simply not everything you need to create and sustain a successful, committed relationship. It won’t make him want to marry you and put up the white picket fence.

In fact, if you inadvertently trip over what I like to call one of his “mental roadblocks” you might find yourself falling splat on your face while he runs for the hills, dragging that fence along behind him.

The worst part is he may not even fully understand why he pulls away(And if he doesn’t understand, it makes it pretty tough for you to understand too.)

Luckily it doesn’t have to be so difficult to navigate the murky waters of your man’s emotional undercurrent.

Us men are relatively simple creatures for the most part, and operate with only a handful of deeply rooted desires when it comes to loving a woman and accepting her love in return.

When you feed these deeply rooted desires we feel almost compelled to move forward and commit to you. You suddenly become “The One” and we just know it, without even knowing how we know it. And it’s not magic, “man”ipulation or any sort of Jedi mind trick.

It’s simply a deeper level of communication that happens silently but is instantly recognizable. Let’s go ahead and have a quick chat about two of these desires now.

What Do Men Want in Relationships?

Below are two of the deepest rooted desires of men everywhere. These two tips, and the advice below, can help you learn how to stop him from pulling away

    1. We want to be loved for our “true self”.

That almost sounds like something a woman would say right? But it’s true… men often hold two images of themselves in their mind’s eye. One is how he sees himself. The other is how he believes other’s see him. Or more importantly how he believes YOU see him.

It’s something I like to call the Masculine Hero Avatar Principle (MHAP for short!) which I talk about more deeply in GirlGetsRing. There are actually 4 of these MHAP’s, but we’ll just stick with two for today.

The bottom line is that just as you need to feel loved, flaws and all… so does your man. He just doesn’t know how to tell you that or even tell himself that!

  1. Every man feels deep down he’s on his own personal life journey with something extremely important he’s destined to accomplish. Ergo, we want a woman who will understand us even better than we do and will help us with discovering and living out our important destiny.

The problem is while a man might feel the above things deep down in their heart of hearts they don’t always know it on a coherent level. And if they don’t know it on a coherent level, they certainly aren’t able to verbalize it or knowingly reveal it to you.

So it’s pretty much up to you to figure it out for yourself and then be the woman that gives him exactly what his true self desires. Sounds a wee bit tough right?

Actually it’s not and I cover the why’s and how’s of what men want from women much more extensively in the Girl Gets Ring Course. It’s really much easier than you think and it’s based in large part around a premise that men feel things in three pretty broad strokes when dating a woman.

I liken it to what I call the Magic Traffic Signal…

Using Traffic Signals To Get Him To Commit?

Well, not literally…however, the traffic signal powerfully represents exactly how a man chooses to move forward in his relationships.

Just like a traffic signal, a man also has signals that send him positive, feel good vibes that motivate him to want to pursue you and move the relationship in a forward direction (aka his inner green light).

Or he gets signals that warn him to slow down, put on the brakes, and sometimes skid to a stop and reverse in another direction altogether (aka his inner yellow light and red light, respectively).

The rather twisted part is that the color of his signal has absolutely nothing to do with his love or attraction for you. They are two totally separate things. But in order for a man want to marry you or move deeper into a relationship, he must feel both the love in his heart and get the big glowing green light at the same time.

So, while a traffic signal and getting a guy to commit to you ARE two separate things, they are still very connected. I know, rather weird isn’t it?

For most men, you will find the majority will feel things both in their gut (where I like to think their Magic Traffic Signal resides) and in their heart.

However 9 times out of 10 a man will listen only to his gut and not pay much attention to his heart.

Unfortunately that means that if his gut is in opposition with his heart, it spells pretty big trouble for any sort of future or marriage potential.

The big secret here though is that YOU have the power to trip the big green light in his belly, just by learning to recognize where he may unconsciously be trying to throw a monkey wrench in the works.

Men often do this unknowingly by setting what I like to call “man traps”. Basically these are traps that, if interpreted in the wrong way, will trigger warning bells in a man’s gut that scream at him to step back and reassess. In other words they aren’t sending that green light!

Remember that a man just doesn’t process feelings or act on them in the same way you do, ever.

He only gets these very nebulous, unconscious “gut feelings” and then often proceeds to make allhis decisions based on those signals or unconscious “gut feelings” even when he’s madly in love with you and wildly attracted to you.

And Perhaps The Best Tip of All About What Men Want From a Woman?

The real truth is that a man does need to love you, 100% and whole-heartedly in order to truly want to make you his partner for life. However he also needs to get that green light deep down in his belly, in perfect alignment with his heart.

And you can get that green light by letting him reveal his true self to you and letting him know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you love him completely, warts in all, just in the same way you desire him to love you.

Now tell me… what color do you think your man’s traffic signals are? Are they the green light you need them to be in order to move forward into marriage? Do you mistakenly believe that love is enough to get you where you want to go?

I’d love to hear your story in the comments below.

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